This year I need to focus on me. I feel a bit lost as to what I want to be and things I want to spend my time doing. I love being a mom and there is nowhere else I would rather spend my days than at home taking care of my Eli, but I feel that's all I am. I don't hang out with many friends, and I don't ever leave Eli with anyone so Bryan and I can go out. I have hobbies but they are only enjoyed during his short nap times or when I try to cram them in after he goes to bed before we do.
One thing I am working on for myself is training for a half marathon. Bryan and I are doing one together this summer. I am really excited to work REALLY HARD towards this goal And to accomplish something I have been thinking about for years. My goal is not to finish in a certain time period.... It's just to finish!
But I also want to find myself as a person. Over the years I have become a lot more shy, something I don't love about myself. We don't know our neighbors or the members of our church. We don't have callings at church either which makes things tough too. But I need to step out from hiding behind myself as a mommy and be Lizzie. Not shy or reserved but happy and confident. Don't get me wrong, i am incredibly happy being a mom, wife, and just me.
I just want to be a better me :)
you are spending so much time being a wife and a mommy and filling orders on etsy that you have no time for you. so how about something this simple... take time during baby's nap to sew on your counted cross stitch or do your nails or read a book that you want (an elective book, not required like a church assignment). try one new recipe a week, write in your journal what you made or print it out and write your comments and thoughts on it. you are a good cook so start to collect your own favorite/success/go to recipes. write an old fashioned letter (not email) to one of your college friends every week for a month. handwritten letters can be keepsakes. its ok for baby to squack and yell a while rather than letting everyone and everything be put first. up date your music file and get some snappy stuff... that gives you energy. part of this lost and blah feeling is from the weather that sucks! it is too cold to be outside for long. nursing a baby also takes so much time and energy (even though it is worth it) remember there will be an end to being so connected to him and you will be able sometime to go for a run or a date and leave it all behind for an hour or three. its ok to vent too....every mom feels like this at times. talk to one new person every week and step out of your comfort zone. i imagine you will find someone who is feeling just like you and you will be an answer to their lost shy self...i love you!!
ReplyDeleteI feel so much like this. I need to try harder too. Thanks. Wish we were closer.
ReplyDeleteI'm glad I'm not the only one Kay-Marie! It would be fun to get our babies together and catch up!
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